“What you deny or ignore, you delay. What you accept and face, you conquer.” ~ Unknown
I realized on Wednesday of this week that I had been in denial. About what is for another post. For now, I simply want to discuss denial in it’s absolute terms, without muddying the waters with the details. As this quote so poignantly points out, denial does not make anything go away, it simply DELAYS the inevitable. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross proclaimed that denial “is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle.” Well, isn’t that the truth?
On Wednesday, I finally accepted that I was in denial. Although that was a great first step, it didn’t necessarily mean that I was going to do anything about it. I sat in my kitchen at this incredible crossroad. I started to think about the consequences of my denial and that’s when the tides started to turn. Consequences are real and that’s what propelled me out of denial, through that barrier of fear, and into the land of reality. Isn’t denial simply an ongoing battle between fear and bravery?
“You can avoid reality, but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality. “Ayn Rand
So with nothing but full on fear, I pulled myself out of the fictitious safety of denial and into reality. I faced everything that I was afraid of, and you know what? It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Actually, it was incredibly empowering! Being in denial was debilitating and left me powerless. But reality, as scary as it was, was liberating. The weight was gone. I was free to take action which put me back in control of at least what I could be in control of—which is me and my actions. If you’re in denial too, I know how scary it is. This is simply my story. I hope you find this helpful. The first step is the most difficult. Be brave!